My mother's daughter

I love you forever my beautiful mum. I'm so proud of you and proud to be your daughter. I'll miss you forever, but I know in my heart and soul you are still with me.

pink wash

This photo below, reminds me of this scene above from Twin Peaks. That is all.

*photo below taken by me on one of our pitstops on the road home from ATP Pavement. Clearly the whiskey hadn't worn off.

Memory Lapse

I have a tendency to forget the good times. I realised this while sitting in a chalet at ATP this weekend. My friends and I attended the Pavement curated weekend, which was a blast. Little hierarchy, plenty of dancing and enough feedback and wonderful little events to make me forget all about home, London, everything. For 3 days my friends and I were in a little bubble where world news wasn't neccessary and the only things we needed - noise, dancing and stalking a member of Pavement or two - were in great supply.

So while in our chalet, we were discussing the other ATP's we've attended over the years, and my boyfriend and friends were able to remember things in their finest details - what we ate, bands that mightve played and, unbelievably, what some of us were wearing. And I could barely remember any of it. Now I justify this by pointing out that I was probably having much fun and getting stuck in down the front of some loud bonerattling band like Melt Banana.

Of course I rememeber seeing certain bands, watching Kelly and Kim Deal walk around with smiles on their faces, dancing with Oxes in the pub on the last night of my first ATP. Watching Bonny Prince Billy at the pub with a blond at each side stroking his ever wonderous beard, Sonic Youth playing a thunderous set then Kim Gordon telling the crowd to stay where they are and turn round to face Lightning Bolt for the first time and I remember the thrill of electricity coursing through me as they blew my mind away. I remember seeing PJ Harvey taking photos of her boyfriend at the time Vincent Gallo, and I remember the smallness of Camber Sands, the joy at seeing Melt Banana for the first time, and, staying up late to dance to John Peel's DJ set. Stomach churning waterslides at Minehead. But it made me sad I couldnt recall much of what my friends were talking about over this weekend. Ive decided I tend to cling onto the bad things that have happened in life for too long (and there have been many) and don't cherish the good for long enough. So, to change matters here are some of the wonderful moments from ATP Pavement this weekend:

- Staying in a chalet with my man and a couple of amazing friends, but also having many more friends come along for the ride.

- Tim Chad and Sherry and their amazing bassist whose slap bass cheesy moves were just too funny. That and for confusing me as to whether they meant it or not. A smoother Barry White-esque Flight of the Conchords. And for this lyric:

"My love is like a river, it flows right through my chest. You know youve found your hero, my lovin' is the best."

-Swooning at the sight of Steve Malkmus on stage and being obsessed enough to have swung a photo pass for myself which enabled me to take 300 photos of My Future Husband, I mean, Pavement.

-Noodles and Frankfurters for dinner. A decision well made. Team Herter stands firm.

-Gin...and vodka...and ice cold beers and of course...the only place in the world I have slush puppies with JD.

-The three rabbits hanging out outside the venues.

-Boris, for their amazing guitars and for nearly ripping my heart clear out of my chest.

-Wax Fang performing Prince' Purple Rain. With full costume and hair.

-Pavement playing We Dance...and watching my boyfriend run to me through the crowd to hug so tight and sing along with me.

-Atlas Sound for making me feel close to him and singing Happy Birthday to him with the rest of the crowd. And for so sweetly covering We Dance and eloquently describing how it makes me feel too.

-Monotonix - seeing all of two/three songs before they got shut down.
-Spotting Malkmus at the side of the stage during Endless Boogie. Mission Accomplished, considering I didn't like EB.
- Oh Crazy Horse, how I love thee! Manish and Pickles' awesome DJ set.

-Realising I went to three of the four ATPs last year, and that I will always treasure this magnificent view

Oh BeyBey No!

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

Lyell

Sad to hear Emma Fletcher is closing her Lyell line and store in NYC. Whenever I was headed to New York, I always made it part of my "musts" to visit the store. The delicate detailing and vintage accents just seemed to work, never becoming too sickly sweet for a tomboy at heart. Not that I could afford any of it, but nonetheless who doesn't like a bit of NYC awesomeness stalking.

Here are some of my favourites from past collections.

Hmm...

Some fruit or a cupcake?

The cupcake has pink icing...and is fluffy and probably has enough chemicals to preserve for another hundred years.

The fruit is questionable and unless they have a fresh round clementine, I'm out of the game.

Such are the questions that mill around my head when I'm trying to concentrate.

Can you spell C*R*U*S*H?

I think every girl should always have a good old fashioned crush, and I seem to have one, bad at the moment.

My first ever crushes were both fictional geeks but my first real live crush was all consuming and maddening. I would literally shake whenever I saw him, struck dumb after most likely having walked into a wall.

It is at this time what some would call stalker tendencies (I would call it being a perfectionist, but I digress) first came to light. I would ask his best friend to spend hours telling me about him - where does he live? What does he do after school? EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF, until in the end his best friend introduced us..and of course I was struck dumb and an absolute wreck.

To avoid this happening this time round I bought these pencils to use around my new crush so I don't have to actually say anything. Between the pencils and Google maps streetview I am sorted.

Dust

So strange and a little beautiful to not have a single plane in the sky over the UK for the past couple of days...Everyone stuck where they are, having to make the very best out of the sunny days we have...

Of course I have friends who are shaking their fists and stuck in foreign countries, desperately trying to get home...but y'know, fuck 'em.

Ahem.

Like a Rhino

I bit the bullet a few weeks ago, and finally signed my self up for creative writing classes. I'm terrified and excited in equal measure which is just about the right mix to inform me I'm doing the right thing. Having studied literature and being so inspired by the written word, I can almost taste the adventure about to begin. Writing, bigger and better classes, living abroad and just finally being happy about trying to add structure and discipline to my writing.

To be an ass about it, I'm kinda proud of myself for getting through the fear and going ahead and booking. Slug.

In other news. This makes me swoon and fall in love

Wolf Eyes

I heart this post. Not that I own many similar patterns and plan to spend my Sunday making a wolf suit...no, not at all...

On another note I bit the bullet a few weeks ago, and finally signed my self up for creative writing classes. I'm terrified and excited in equal measure which is just about the right mix to inform me I'm doing the right thing. Having studied literature and being so inspired by the written word, I can almost taste the adventure about to begin. Writing, bigger and better classes, living abroad and just finally being happy about trying to add structure and discipline to my writing.

To be an ass about it, I'm kinda proud of myself for getting through the fear and going ahead and booking :)

Listening: Rise of the Eagles - Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster

Late blooms

I spent some time on a very long bus journey reading an interview* with a Hollywood actress. And one tiny sentence really stood out for me, it was a response to the unspoken code of the whole interview i.e. "you are alone and 40, what did you do wrong?" she said "I guess I'm a late bloomer."

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of late bloomers, those who reach milestones, ways of thinking later than society dictates. For example, not having done certain things by the time they are thirty or eighteen.

I have friends who are obsessed with the fact they are turning thirty soon, literally feeling like there is nothing left! And I think it's such weird way to live your life.

We all need motivators and use our relationships to check where we are in life, but essentially as long as we are not wasteful with our lives, it's ok to take our time. I think we reach ways of thinking or milestone events when we are ready to, and not before. I know people from school who have been married, divorced and are onto their third child, while I can still only just about look after myself! I still paint my fingernails in rainbows, get too drunk too quickly, and stand too close to the speakers at gigs. And I don't think our lives are any more or less valid because of it. It took me long and hard walks along the desert to get to where I am now and I can't help but feel that's what it is about, long and varied journeys.

That and not letting our hearts die. Maybe it's watching The Breakfast Club a million times, but I thrive on adventure and discovery. We all still need new adventures, don't we? And everything should be an adventure, even getting older or being a late bloomer. Because we learn something and we're all lucky to be here, right?

*Believe me, I was reading trash!

I can't remember where photo is from, sorry

P.S It's safe to read this post as the rantings of a person driven crazy by the thought of getting older and being in a relationship with its ups and downs.

balls.

Aw man, now I'm out of skittles.

clusterfuck

Just put a ton of skittles in my mouth...which made me think of this photo, which I took at Ten Years of ATP last year. Who the hell knows how this sweet machine of a mind works...

Not lame - the things that rocked today

Sun. Finally came out to play. Bored of watching Friends repeats, huh? Nice of you to show up.

The dude sitting in his car nodding along to what I can only describe as Chinese/Brazilian muzak version of Billy Jean. With a huge smile on his face. Yep. Cos I love all kinds of crazy.

pic: a random photo I took of Bergen Street in Brooklyn, NYC. I am in London. But thinking about my stay on Bergen street makes me happy.

Bright Eyes

I came across this photo buried deep in the folders of my computer today. I think Shelley Duvall is one of the most beautiful women to have ever appeared on screen.

I think it's the jet black tomboy hair and wide wide eyes that seem express so much. I think mostly it's because she looks like the goofy treeclimbing, reading in the corner kinda kid I was.

She's amazing in The Shining.

Museum of Everything and everything looks pretty good

Sunday was the last day of the first exhibition at The Museum of Everything, the first museum of folk art in London. The exhibition has has amazing reviews, and I first wanted to go the minute it opened.

But true to form, I waited until the last day, which also happened to be Valentine's Day. Would've been a nice date too, but the boy had to work. Plus we're both sulking at not having much money to play with so promised to something next weekend and made pancakes in the morning instead and off I went to the exhibition.

All was good until I arrived to find a queue of one hundred, all cool with their boyfriends and girlfriends and all I could do was stand their waiting for my friends to arrive...

There were people kissing in the queue and, I SHIT YOU NOT, describing themselves as "ingenues".

Someone called his friend a feminist snob.

Be quick my friends.

Once inside, I fell in love with the museum. It was beautifully laid out, with handmade signs and typewritter font info signs, everything looked like it had been pulled from a junk store. There were enough little rooms and twisty wooden staircases to make me very happy indeed.

The highlights were seeing Henry Darger's The Vivian Girls scrolls in London. I had previously only seen some Darger at the American Folk Art Museum in New York. But it was Morton Bartlett's secret teenage sculptures and sister Gertrude Morgan intense "Bride of Christ" paintings and recordings that interested me the most.

Sister Gertrude Morgan's simple, single-minded dedication and obsession came through so wonderfully as a recording of her songs was played in the room. I made a mental note to find some of those recordings.

A guy who my friend called Lenny Hendrix set up to play a set in the main room. It was, I guess his own form of obsession - he was a one man band playing harmonica, a tiny drum set with his feet and guitar and singing. Ive now decided tiny drum sets are cool.

And so was a little bit of obsession on a rainy Valentine's day.

Teenage Angst

Yum, french toast, bacon, maple syrup and fresh coffee for breakfast.

Such a cool morning yesterday.

But I didnt post about it. Why? Because here I am again, fretting about this blog. I think it's not in my nature to "share" things about myself with the big bad world. But I'm all about people's lives making all the difference in unknown and magical ways, sharing is a good thing. At the same time, I wonder why on earth anyone would care to know any of this..."stuff", y'know?

Plus I swear, alot. And I make sarcastic and inappropiate comments all the time. I laugh at things that would otherwise make me cry. Or I cry for stupid reasons. Oh and I like mystery. Yep, that could make blogging hard.

So, I guess the main point is while I hope someone enjoys someday the things I write, I guess I do so mainly for me, so I hope it to be good enough to warrant my wish to look back on it and smile.

This dress took me by suprise, hit me from the left. But then I fell in love with it. And although I try to buy independent or vintage, it was hard to resist.

Makes me think of something the amazing Jenny would make. Can't wait for the shop update.

I've got to see this doc...

Doesn't this sound amazing?

Rabbit a la Berlin is the story of rabbits who lived protected and happy between the Berlin walls for 28 years...and how they've learned to live in the free world.

It has received an Oscar nomination for Best Documentary Short this year.

Sessun

ohhhh shitballs..I've just discovered these dudes have their headquarters 5mins from my house.

That's my summer spent hanging around outside their door making puppydog eyes then.

Spring Summer 2010 collection

Let's Be Friends, 2010

2009 started so well too....