My mother's daughter

I love you forever my beautiful mum. I'm so proud of you and proud to be your daughter. I'll miss you forever, but I know in my heart and soul you are still with me.

pink wash

This photo below, reminds me of this scene above from Twin Peaks. That is all.

*photo below taken by me on one of our pitstops on the road home from ATP Pavement. Clearly the whiskey hadn't worn off.

Memory Lapse

I have a tendency to forget the good times. I realised this while sitting in a chalet at ATP this weekend. My friends and I attended the Pavement curated weekend, which was a blast. Little hierarchy, plenty of dancing and enough feedback and wonderful little events to make me forget all about home, London, everything. For 3 days my friends and I were in a little bubble where world news wasn't neccessary and the only things we needed - noise, dancing and stalking a member of Pavement or two - were in great supply.

So while in our chalet, we were discussing the other ATP's we've attended over the years, and my boyfriend and friends were able to remember things in their finest details - what we ate, bands that mightve played and, unbelievably, what some of us were wearing. And I could barely remember any of it. Now I justify this by pointing out that I was probably having much fun and getting stuck in down the front of some loud bonerattling band like Melt Banana.

Of course I rememeber seeing certain bands, watching Kelly and Kim Deal walk around with smiles on their faces, dancing with Oxes in the pub on the last night of my first ATP. Watching Bonny Prince Billy at the pub with a blond at each side stroking his ever wonderous beard, Sonic Youth playing a thunderous set then Kim Gordon telling the crowd to stay where they are and turn round to face Lightning Bolt for the first time and I remember the thrill of electricity coursing through me as they blew my mind away. I remember seeing PJ Harvey taking photos of her boyfriend at the time Vincent Gallo, and I remember the smallness of Camber Sands, the joy at seeing Melt Banana for the first time, and, staying up late to dance to John Peel's DJ set. Stomach churning waterslides at Minehead. But it made me sad I couldnt recall much of what my friends were talking about over this weekend. Ive decided I tend to cling onto the bad things that have happened in life for too long (and there have been many) and don't cherish the good for long enough. So, to change matters here are some of the wonderful moments from ATP Pavement this weekend:

- Staying in a chalet with my man and a couple of amazing friends, but also having many more friends come along for the ride.

- Tim Chad and Sherry and their amazing bassist whose slap bass cheesy moves were just too funny. That and for confusing me as to whether they meant it or not. A smoother Barry White-esque Flight of the Conchords. And for this lyric:

"My love is like a river, it flows right through my chest. You know youve found your hero, my lovin' is the best."

-Swooning at the sight of Steve Malkmus on stage and being obsessed enough to have swung a photo pass for myself which enabled me to take 300 photos of My Future Husband, I mean, Pavement.

-Noodles and Frankfurters for dinner. A decision well made. Team Herter stands firm.

-Gin...and vodka...and ice cold beers and of course...the only place in the world I have slush puppies with JD.

-The three rabbits hanging out outside the venues.

-Boris, for their amazing guitars and for nearly ripping my heart clear out of my chest.

-Wax Fang performing Prince' Purple Rain. With full costume and hair.

-Pavement playing We Dance...and watching my boyfriend run to me through the crowd to hug so tight and sing along with me.

-Atlas Sound for making me feel close to him and singing Happy Birthday to him with the rest of the crowd. And for so sweetly covering We Dance and eloquently describing how it makes me feel too.

-Monotonix - seeing all of two/three songs before they got shut down.
-Spotting Malkmus at the side of the stage during Endless Boogie. Mission Accomplished, considering I didn't like EB.
- Oh Crazy Horse, how I love thee! Manish and Pickles' awesome DJ set.

-Realising I went to three of the four ATPs last year, and that I will always treasure this magnificent view

Oh BeyBey No!

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

Lyell

Sad to hear Emma Fletcher is closing her Lyell line and store in NYC. Whenever I was headed to New York, I always made it part of my "musts" to visit the store. The delicate detailing and vintage accents just seemed to work, never becoming too sickly sweet for a tomboy at heart. Not that I could afford any of it, but nonetheless who doesn't like a bit of NYC awesomeness stalking.

Here are some of my favourites from past collections.

Hmm...

Some fruit or a cupcake?

The cupcake has pink icing...and is fluffy and probably has enough chemicals to preserve for another hundred years.

The fruit is questionable and unless they have a fresh round clementine, I'm out of the game.

Such are the questions that mill around my head when I'm trying to concentrate.

Can you spell C*R*U*S*H?

I think every girl should always have a good old fashioned crush, and I seem to have one, bad at the moment.

My first ever crushes were both fictional geeks but my first real live crush was all consuming and maddening. I would literally shake whenever I saw him, struck dumb after most likely having walked into a wall.

It is at this time what some would call stalker tendencies (I would call it being a perfectionist, but I digress) first came to light. I would ask his best friend to spend hours telling me about him - where does he live? What does he do after school? EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF, until in the end his best friend introduced us..and of course I was struck dumb and an absolute wreck.

To avoid this happening this time round I bought these pencils to use around my new crush so I don't have to actually say anything. Between the pencils and Google maps streetview I am sorted.